Watson enters the apartment to the sound of Holmes playing his violin vigorously. He walks in and sits on the chair opposite. He picks up a newspaper and reads while he waits for his friend.
“My dear Watson. How good of you to come.”
“There, there, my friend. You know I cannot stay away.”
Holmes stands and begins to pace the room, taking out his pipe and lighting it.
“It looks as though you are deeply involved with a case, Holmes. Would you like me to come again another time?”
“No, no. That is unnecessary. You are right. Sit down and I will tell you more."
Watson sat.
"I met with an old Jewish gentleman two weeks ago. He goes by the name of Caiaphas. I deduced immediately that he had not slept properly for some time. He was in a state of severe agitation. I would think a mixture of anger at the crime, and fear. The whole time he was speaking to me he kept glancing around. It was as if he was being followed or stalked by someone.”
“So what was the crime? Sounds like a homicide to me.”
“Very good, my dear friend. Yes the signs were there, but actually it turns out to be a case of vandalism. He talked of sacrilege. He is the leader of an religious organisation. A cloth important to their rituals and customs has been destroyed.”
“That hardly calls for your skills, I should think. Will you take on the case?”
“I think so. You see this villain is a particularly slippery customer. It seems that he chose the time of an eclipse, so that his activities would go undetected. And then there is the question of how he achieved it. You see, a couple of eyewitness guards said this curtain was torn from the top to the bottom.”
“What is so difficult about tearing a curtain?”
“It was 30 feet wide, 60 feet high and three inches thick. It was in a Temple. What’s more, no one saw him do it. They just saw it tear.”
“What do you think so far?”
“All the evidence leads to someone incredibly large, powerfully strong. And of course, they would need to be able to cloak themselves in invisibility.”
“That sounds a little far-fetched, like a H. G. Wells novel. You might be talking about some kind of god or monster. Are you sure it’s not some kind of trick? Think of all the cases we have dealt with. Often what originally seemed extraordinary, ghoulish or even supernatural, was in the end, able to be explained quite simply and reasonably.”
“Yes. You are correct. However, there is more. There was evidence of an earthquake around the time of the crime. An earthquake and an eclipse experienced simultaneously. That is asking a little too much of natural phenomena. It is my conclusion that the symptoms of a geological disturbance are better explained as the footfall of a truly fearsome individual of extraordinary size.”
“And I have had time to check through the case files. The results are startling. A king of Babylon, Belshazzar, reported a threatening piece of graffiti on an interior palace wall. Here is the thing. A huge hand wrote it on the wall. The room was crowded and the rest of the body was invisible. You see the nerve of this villain. He fears no one and nothing. He will prove to be a difficult adversary. It turns out that he was working with another government. Shortly after that, before he could press charges for the vandalism, Belshazzar was killed by Darius the Mede in his attack against the city.”
“Incredible. Almost compelling. Two cases of vandalism by an invisible adversary.”
“Then there was a story in a newspaper, of what seemed like a natural disaster. Thousands of people were killed in a flood. But it turns out that one family knew it was coming and built a huge boat. They were already on board when the flood arrived and killed everyone else. Coincidence? I don’t think so. This mass slaughter had an accomplice. You see, I found the case file and a number of huge fingerprints were found on the door of the boat. It looks like our villain closed in the family. It is probable that he had something to do with the flood as well.”
“Were there anymore?”
“Yes. We have a report of someone tampering with a very large ball of rock of planetary size. It was covered by water and functioning as a sort of jail. It turns out that someone quite powerful got it in his head to decorate. I have seen some before and after crime-scene photos. I have to admit that it is hard to see it as vandalism. The inmates pressed charges though. A scary bunch. I interviewed one, and that was enough for me. I am glad that I didn’t put him away. Oh, yes. Something else – A revolt. Thousands of slaves escaped their master and fled into the desert, led by none other than the invisible giant. An army tried to stop him and they were all drowned.”
“I see a theme developing.”
“Quite so.”
“So, Watson, I crosschecked my profile description against temple sightings in the database. What do you know? I found it. Another king. This suspect is no small player. King Uzziah was in the same temple and saw a huge figure, so tall that he and his clothes filled the whole room. You guessed it. He was tall enough to reach up and tear the curtain. That file identified him as a Mr Jehovah. So I had the identity of our “man”. And this is when I began to suspect that I had him for premeditation as well. So I made some enquiries. In fact, I put my phone number and some details in the Times.”
“How did that go?”
“Oh, very well indeed. I had an overwhelming response. An old man phoned and said that Mr Jehovah was his friend and he talked to him all the time. I couldn’t believe my luck. I asked me if he could help me locate him, and he chuckled at the other end of the line. I pressured him to be serious and asked if I could speak with him. He said that I should consider praying. I dismissed that, and asked him some more questions. Then I hit a glitch. It turns out he was dead at the time of the crime. This I have confirmed many times over. It is the ultimate alibi! But no sooner had he said that, than he was talking about him as though he was still alive. Eventually the old man gave me an address. I know I am close to bringing him in. I just need to find “New Jerusalem” on one of the maps. We may need an extradition, but I am confident. Apparently he lives on Paradise Boulevard. I think a few days should do it.”
“Well, Holmes, all is well that ends well. I am amazed. This is the strangest case you have ever taken on!”
Watson had stood and was also pacing the room. He noticed an envelope on the desk.
“What’s this? A letter from Buckingham Palace?”
“Oh, Don’t worry. I get them all the time. The queen is always losing something or another – Spectacles or a corgi or silverware. They have such a large staff and you can’t watch everyone; and believe it or not, she is quite absent-minded.”
“I guess you can excuse that with the weight of Britannia on your shoulders.”
“Quite so.”
“Why haven’t you opened it yet.”
“I like to guess . . .”
“What do you have so far?”
“So far I have considered all that I have read in the papers over the last two days. I have covered both at home and the colonies abroad, all quite thoroughly, and nothing has come of it. Next I will consider the evidence on the outside of the envelope itself. I will start with the hand-writing . . ."
He picked up the envelope.
"Oh, Lord, I am so vain. I should not play such games with my monarch. Look at her hand! She is uncharacteristically anxious. She must be under threat! I don’t know why they didn’t send a cab for me straight away.”
Holmes tore open the envelope and read the contents . . .
“What does it say?” implored Watson.
“It says . . . that I have exceeded my jurisdiction. She says that we have been investigating an important ally of the Empire. It seems he has interests both here and in the colonies, and that his authority is significant.”
“Amazing, I must say. That we should have such an ally. What is Britannia coming to?”
Holmes relit his pipe and puffed cheerily. He sat down for the first time and put his feet upon a leather ottoman.
“You know, sometimes you have to face defeat with a smile and move on. I believe we just met our match.”
